Joke thread!!!
05-21-2005, 11:32 PM
#317
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Originally Posted by jvick125
Why do KKK guys wear pointy hats?
-- To help them shove their head up their ***.
Is that any better for you guys that think I'm some huge racist?
-- To help them shove their head up their ***.
Is that any better for you guys that think I'm some huge racist?
05-22-2005, 02:54 AM
#318
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Originally Posted by jvick125
Why do KKK guys wear pointy hats?
-- To help them shove their head up their ***.
Is that any better for you guys that think I'm some huge racist?
-- To help them shove their head up their ***.
Is that any better for you guys that think I'm some huge racist?
I don't really care what you guys think. Not like it's going to really affect me.
05-27-2005, 09:30 PM
#323
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Originally Posted by Ali G
I fu-ck goats not sheep. Get it right at least...
"I ****ed a sheep
I ****ed a goat
I rammed my **** right down its throat
So what?
So What?
So What? So What? You boring little fu-ck."
06-08-2005, 01:08 PM
#324
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A young man was showing off his new Thunderbird sports car to his girlfriend. She was really thrilled at the speed.
"If I go over 100mph, will you take off your clothes?" he smirked.
"Yes!" agreed his adventurous girlfriend.
And as he gets up to 100mph, she peeled off all her clothes.
Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the Thunderbird skidded onto some gravel and flipped over.
The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel.
"Go and get help!", he cried.
"But I can't! I'm naked and my clothes were blown away by the wind!"
"Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself."
Holding the shoe over her vagina, the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!"
The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can do... He's in way too far!"
"If I go over 100mph, will you take off your clothes?" he smirked.
"Yes!" agreed his adventurous girlfriend.
And as he gets up to 100mph, she peeled off all her clothes.
Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the Thunderbird skidded onto some gravel and flipped over.
The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel.
"Go and get help!", he cried.
"But I can't! I'm naked and my clothes were blown away by the wind!"
"Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself."
Holding the shoe over her vagina, the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!"
The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can do... He's in way too far!"
06-09-2005, 01:05 PM
#325
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After getting all of the Pope's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.
"Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today."
"I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
"There might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.
" Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. "Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license," moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher. The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.
"So bust him," says the Chief.
"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed," All the more reason!"
"No, I mean really important," said the cop.
The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
Chief: "Governor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"
Cop: "I think it's God!"
Chief: "What makes you think it's God?"
Cop: "He's got the f***ing Pope as a chauffeur!!"
"Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today."
"I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
"There might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.
" Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. "Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license," moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher. The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.
"So bust him," says the Chief.
"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed," All the more reason!"
"No, I mean really important," said the cop.
The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
Chief: "Governor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"
Cop: "I think it's God!"
Chief: "What makes you think it's God?"
Cop: "He's got the f***ing Pope as a chauffeur!!"
