Joke thread!!!
04-13-2005, 01:15 PM
#242
Dirty Redhead
iTrader: (10)
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Commuting? I don't know what that means anymore.
Posts: 7,204
Car Info: 05 WRX Wagon (Crystal Gray)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Earlier that morning the farmers daughter had inadvertantly left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distacted of late.
Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soybean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture moving van as it attempted to make its way home.
Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman.
"Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flys". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most irridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.
Earlier that morning the farmers daughter had inadvertantly left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distacted of late.
Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soybean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture moving van as it attempted to make its way home.
Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman.
"Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flys". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most irridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.
04-13-2005, 01:18 PM
#243
Dirty Redhead
iTrader: (10)
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Commuting? I don't know what that means anymore.
Posts: 7,204
Car Info: 05 WRX Wagon (Crystal Gray)
What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?
A Jew is a person adhering to the Jewish faith and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, usually circular bread covered with tomato sauce and cheese with optional garnishes.
A Jew is a person adhering to the Jewish faith and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, usually circular bread covered with tomato sauce and cheese with optional garnishes.
04-13-2005, 01:19 PM
#244
Dirty Redhead
iTrader: (10)
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Commuting? I don't know what that means anymore.
Posts: 7,204
Car Info: 05 WRX Wagon (Crystal Gray)
What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
An embarrassing situation
Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
She was a schizophrenic
How do you confuse a blonde?
Paint yourself green and throw forks at her
An embarrassing situation
Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
She was a schizophrenic
How do you confuse a blonde?
Paint yourself green and throw forks at her
04-13-2005, 01:22 PM
#245
Dirty Redhead
iTrader: (10)
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Commuting? I don't know what that means anymore.
Posts: 7,204
Car Info: 05 WRX Wagon (Crystal Gray)
There once was a man from Nantucket. He owned a sailboat. I haven't seen him in years.
What do you call 5 mexicans in quicksand?
A dangerous situation that could soon turn tragic.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a centipede?
A media circus about the debate over the morals and ethics of genetic engineering
A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar, sit at the end and start having some drinks. Two hours later, they come out with a better understanding of each other and a mutual respect, the beginnings of a friendship that last a lifetime.
What do you call 5 mexicans in quicksand?
A dangerous situation that could soon turn tragic.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a centipede?
A media circus about the debate over the morals and ethics of genetic engineering
A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar, sit at the end and start having some drinks. Two hours later, they come out with a better understanding of each other and a mutual respect, the beginnings of a friendship that last a lifetime.
04-13-2005, 01:26 PM
#246
Token Toyota Mod
iTrader: (50)
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Palo Alto, CA
Posts: 52,306
Car Info: Something german
Originally Posted by ericdared81
What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?
A Jew is a person adhering to the Jewish faith and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, usually circular bread covered with tomato sauce and cheese with optional garnishes.
A Jew is a person adhering to the Jewish faith and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, usually circular bread covered with tomato sauce and cheese with optional garnishes.
Soo bad.. lol
04-13-2005, 01:36 PM
#248
Dirty Redhead
iTrader: (10)
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Commuting? I don't know what that means anymore.
Posts: 7,204
Car Info: 05 WRX Wagon (Crystal Gray)
Originally Posted by Aaron@S-S
Bored at work, Captain Obvious? 
I was laughing my *** off
04-14-2005, 01:33 PM
#255
VIP Member
iTrader: (6)
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: pew, pew, pew!!!
Posts: 17,617
Car Info: nonplussed
Originally Posted by sperry
https://www.i-club.com/forums/sacramento-reno-116/so-they-not-going-have-any-more-kids-uae-95581/