Joke thread!!
04-06-2009, 03:01 AM
#61
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Two blondes decided to rob a bank together. The first blonde, Judy plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the second blonde, Buffy, in great detail. The robbery begins...
Judy drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to Buffy, "I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan. You are supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash. Do you understand the plan?" "Perfectly," said Buffy. Buffy goes in the bank while Judy waits in the getaway car. One minute passes... Two minutes pass... Seven minutes pass... and Judy is really stressing out. Finally, the bank doors burst open! And here comes Buffy. She's got a safe wrapped up in rope and is dragging it to the car. About the time she gets the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst open again with the security guard coming out. The guard's pants and underwear are down around his ankles while he is firing his weapon. As the gals are getting away, Judy says "You are such a blonde! I thought you understood the plan!" Buffy said, "I did... I did exactly what you said!" "No, you idiot," said Judy. "You got it all mixed up. I said tie up the GUARD and blow the SAFE!"
Judy drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to Buffy, "I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan. You are supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash. Do you understand the plan?" "Perfectly," said Buffy. Buffy goes in the bank while Judy waits in the getaway car. One minute passes... Two minutes pass... Seven minutes pass... and Judy is really stressing out. Finally, the bank doors burst open! And here comes Buffy. She's got a safe wrapped up in rope and is dragging it to the car. About the time she gets the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst open again with the security guard coming out. The guard's pants and underwear are down around his ankles while he is firing his weapon. As the gals are getting away, Judy says "You are such a blonde! I thought you understood the plan!" Buffy said, "I did... I did exactly what you said!" "No, you idiot," said Judy. "You got it all mixed up. I said tie up the GUARD and blow the SAFE!"
I thought it was gonna be "The Fast & The Flaming"
04-07-2009, 05:28 PM
#66
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opps...deleted...thanks brah..lol..new one instead
Da Hawaiian, Japanee and Podagee students all shared one dorm room. Being college students they spent most of their income on booze. But, there was ONE bowl of beef stew left in the refrigerator.
So they made a deal.. whoever has the BEST dream can eat the stew in the morning.
So they go sleep. When they wake the Hawaiian goes, "brah, I had da' bes' dream! I went dream we had 50 hot chics all partying with us here!"
Da' Japanee goes, "Brah my dream was mo' mean! I went dream we was rollin' with hot chics in g-strings in our own pimped-out slammed Acura RS's!".
Then they look in the refrigerator and the stew is gone! Then the two of them looks for da Podagee and they find him hiding the hallway. They ask da Podagee, "eh brah, you went eat da' beef stew or what?". Da Podagee guy says in a frightened tone, "Yeah............I went dream you guys was full, so I woke up and ate da' stew".
Da Hawaiian, Japanee and Podagee students all shared one dorm room. Being college students they spent most of their income on booze. But, there was ONE bowl of beef stew left in the refrigerator.
So they made a deal.. whoever has the BEST dream can eat the stew in the morning.
So they go sleep. When they wake the Hawaiian goes, "brah, I had da' bes' dream! I went dream we had 50 hot chics all partying with us here!"
Da' Japanee goes, "Brah my dream was mo' mean! I went dream we was rollin' with hot chics in g-strings in our own pimped-out slammed Acura RS's!".
Then they look in the refrigerator and the stew is gone! Then the two of them looks for da Podagee and they find him hiding the hallway. They ask da Podagee, "eh brah, you went eat da' beef stew or what?". Da Podagee guy says in a frightened tone, "Yeah............I went dream you guys was full, so I woke up and ate da' stew".
Last edited by hayn_wrx; 04-07-2009 at 06:30 PM.
04-07-2009, 06:34 PM
#68
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Podagee Chicks
Get dese two Pocho wahine holoholo down Kalākaua Avenue. Da firss one spock one compact ona sidewalk and lean
down foah pick um up. She open um up, look insai da mirrah an tell da odda wahine, "Eh, dis wahine look familiah!"
Da numbah two Pocho wahine tell her, "eh, try lemme spock dat". So da firss Pocho wahine wen geev da compact to
second wahine. Da second wahine look insai da mirrah an tell da firss wahine,
"U lolo! Is ME!"
Get dese two Pocho wahine holoholo down Kalākaua Avenue. Da firss one spock one compact ona sidewalk and lean
down foah pick um up. She open um up, look insai da mirrah an tell da odda wahine, "Eh, dis wahine look familiah!"
Da numbah two Pocho wahine tell her, "eh, try lemme spock dat". So da firss Pocho wahine wen geev da compact to
second wahine. Da second wahine look insai da mirrah an tell da firss wahine,
"U lolo! Is ME!"
04-07-2009, 07:00 PM
#70
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hey nev,
what did you just write? i'm like reading it over and over and i don't understand what it means...lol... yeah i'm lame like that...lol
miz
what did you just write? i'm like reading it over and over and i don't understand what it means...lol... yeah i'm lame like that...lol
miz
Podagee Chicks
Get dese two Pocho wahine holoholo down Kalākaua Avenue. Da firss one spock one compact ona sidewalk and lean
down foah pick um up. She open um up, look insai da mirrah an tell da odda wahine, "Eh, dis wahine look familiah!"
Da numbah two Pocho wahine tell her, "eh, try lemme spock dat". So da firss Pocho wahine wen geev da compact to
second wahine. Da second wahine look insai da mirrah an tell da firss wahine,
"U lolo! Is ME!"
Get dese two Pocho wahine holoholo down Kalākaua Avenue. Da firss one spock one compact ona sidewalk and lean
down foah pick um up. She open um up, look insai da mirrah an tell da odda wahine, "Eh, dis wahine look familiah!"
Da numbah two Pocho wahine tell her, "eh, try lemme spock dat". So da firss Pocho wahine wen geev da compact to
second wahine. Da second wahine look insai da mirrah an tell da firss wahine,
"U lolo! Is ME!"
04-07-2009, 08:21 PM
#71
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okay my pilipino bradders,
lets use some words in a sentence. i feel sorry for you folks who don't hang around filipinos alot.
BERETANIA:
flip1: hoy, jus' com from the beach?
flip2: why? i'm BERETANIA?! (<-very tan, yeah?)
BEEF STEW
my beeper beeps, does yours BEEF STEW? (<-beeps too)
ORMOT (definition - pubes)
a flip sees something flying around the ceiling light fixture in his home. he says, "is dat a butterply, ORMOT? (<-or moth)
lets use some words in a sentence. i feel sorry for you folks who don't hang around filipinos alot.
BERETANIA:
flip1: hoy, jus' com from the beach?
flip2: why? i'm BERETANIA?! (<-very tan, yeah?)
BEEF STEW
my beeper beeps, does yours BEEF STEW? (<-beeps too)
ORMOT (definition - pubes)
a flip sees something flying around the ceiling light fixture in his home. he says, "is dat a butterply, ORMOT? (<-or moth)
04-07-2009, 10:10 PM
#72
There are these two Portuguese women walking down Kalakaua Ave. The first one finds a foundation compact on the sidewalk and picks it up.
She opens it up and looks inside and says, "Hey, this girl looks very familiar!"
The second Portuguese woman asks to see it and the first girl gives it to her.
The second girl looks in the mirror and tells the first one, "You're so crazy! That's me!"
04-07-2009, 10:17 PM
#73
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aahhh ok... too many many words i don't know or never heard of... pocho, spock, hololo, lolo.... yeah those and to top it off it was spoken straight local....lol ...something new i learned... thank you!
Translation for you Miz.
There are these two Portuguese women walking down Kalakaua Ave. The first one finds a foundation compact on the sidewalk and picks it up.
She opens it up and looks inside and says, "Hey, this girl looks very familiar!"
The second Portuguese woman asks to see it and the first girl gives it to her.
The second girl looks in the mirror and tells the first one, "You're so crazy! That's me!"
There are these two Portuguese women walking down Kalakaua Ave. The first one finds a foundation compact on the sidewalk and picks it up.
She opens it up and looks inside and says, "Hey, this girl looks very familiar!"
The second Portuguese woman asks to see it and the first girl gives it to her.
The second girl looks in the mirror and tells the first one, "You're so crazy! That's me!"
04-08-2009, 01:19 AM
#74
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04-08-2009, 11:27 AM
#75
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mizzz sorry ah for the broken words..i figure that'll be the best way for get the joke..however hardly anyone speak real broken like dat..haha
thanks for translatin it for me...ya i nearly died laughin..
you made all of our days...haha
nev
thanks for translatin it for me...ya i nearly died laughin..
you made all of our days...haha
nev