AntiochCali

iTrader: (1)

What stresses you out?

I haven't been this crazy with stress in years.

1. Car needs smogging, have no idea how to get it to pass.
2. I haven't had a raise or promotion in 2 years, due to the economy and it's painful, money has never been so tight with me before.
3. I have no future career opportunities at work (I was passed over for promotion). I have nowhere left to go except out.
4. My house has been broken into, and parts and pieces of my car have been stolen and outdoor furniture etc., taken from my house too.
5. My roof leaked after the last big Rain we had a few weeks ago.
6. I have a straight "F" son, who can't read or do math or even speak well.
7. I've lost crazy money (more than $300K) in the stock market and my 401K...all of which totals to less than $100K today, maybe that means I don't have to worry about it anymore?
8. I drive a 2003 wagon.

I want to die sometimes...How do you cope?

stupidchicken03

iTrader: (38)

-I havnt had a job since Dec 08 (and have been looking)
-Going to school full time and always have some type of paper or test everyweek
-Engine has burnt ringlands and in the process of having a new engine put together
-Trying to plan a wedding for next June
-Christmas is coming up

just off the top of my head

dorifto88

iTrader: (8)

Damn Whit (i have terrible memory, antiochcali thats your name right?) i hope things turn up for you... as for your son, how old is he? there should be some free afterschool programs that might be able to help him out.

and senior chicken, dude, just make the calender and sell it

En3D

iTrader: (12)

Man, I feel for you. During the last economy downturn (2001) we were hit hard too. Wife and I, at the time was making 200k+, she was pregnant and we both got laid off. Yeah, it sucked.

We went back to the basics. Re-evaluated everything from spending habits to what really makes us happy. Once we had a reality check, we moved forward. It's tough, hang in there.

Now as far your list, if I may:

1) Is your car modded and this is why you can't smog it? If so, go back to stock. This is what I did when I lost my job. Get money for the parts and you can pass smog.

2) job, hang in there. The market sucks for jobs, do your job but start planning to improve your skills or different career path so when the market picks up you can get a different job. also see #1 if there is money in parts on the car.

3)see #2

4) if you car has aftermarket stuff, it is a target. De-mod. Also for your house, you can do cheap things that will help protect it. Alarm on the windows and door (the inexpensive ones that go off). Go to home depot and buy cheap 1x2 and cut them down to size and put them in your windows. I have ADT stickers that you can have, just PM me with your address and I'll mail them to you.

5)roof leaks suck, if you can find out the source of the leak, you can buy roof/tar caulking and apply amply. sooner or later you will need to replace your roof so who cares about what the band-aid fix looks like.

6) how old is your son? If he is old enough, time to sit him down and talk to him like a man. I have friends and family who are in tough times and try to "shield" their teenage kids from it. I think it's a mistake. Teenagers are old enough to help and if he knows that getting Fs and screwing around will only get him nowhere. At minimum maybe he can get a job and help with the money situation. A dose of reality could be the answer.

7) depending on how old you are, your 401k may be OK. I'm not going to sit here and say that being out 300k is not painful but if you are 10 years from retirement, you should recoup the loses.

8) demod, sell the car and downgrade. yeah it sucks but a 1999 OBS is cheaper to own than a 2003 WRX. I drive a 02 WRX wagon and once we were hit with the reality of money, jobs and mortgage payments etc. A car is just a car, get you from A to B.

Some of my friends drive nicer cars and wear nicer clothes and even though we have bounced back nicely, we still watch what we spend our money on knowing that we went through some very rough times in 2001. I laugh at the fools who spend $100 to 150 on a pair jeans.

Hang in there, things will get better. Talk to your family about your feelings if you have not. This can really make you bond and support each other.

Good luck.

rau

iTrader: (9)

Kinda sounds like me.....
-Promotion was supposed to happen last month, wont happen until Feb, but I get to be asst. manager at a new store
-Wedding is in August, in another country
-and Cristmas too yaaaaayyyy......

danielliez

In high school I spent some time kinda screwing around and not doing well in school. My parent's started making some serious consequences for me (taking away things that I actually cared about and most of my freedom) until I started doing better. Then, once I started cleaning my **** up, they started rewarding me for doing well.
Seriously, just be brutal on him... teenagers are total d-bags. But also know that he has to want to get better as well. It kinda wasn't until I realized that I didn't want to be a total loser that I started doing well in school and making something of myself (without motivation from my parents).

As for saving money: try not to eat out. If you do, go to the restaurant's website before you go because many restaurants have coupons on their website and you can save a couple bucks. Don't buy coffee or other little things that you can easily make at home and bring with you wherever you're going.
Buy as many of your groceries as you can at Target, seriously they have good prices and the quality is good. You can get pretty much everything there except produce and meat.

Hope some of this helps, sorry things are so tough right now

cracker1252

i wont try to make you feel better by telling you my problems but i did also find it helpful by doing a whole reevaluation of my expenditures. Money has a funny way of changing everything.

and i know your joking about killing yourself use self efficacy to make sure you are giving yourself enough credit for the things you are doing everyday. i know its difficult to tell yourself your good at things, but when your around either positive or negative all the time -- thats how you turn out.

RussB

iTrader: (2)

focus on these two things. home security and your son's future are by far the most important things on the list. all the other stuff is, well, just stuff.

odds are your job and 401k will likely bounce back when the economy does. take the lack of raise / promotion in stride because it's better than the alternative - not working.

STiForFun

iTrader: (6)

1. Car needs smogging, have no idea how to get it to pass.*Do you have a CEL? Get stock parts back on and get the smog done. A lot of us have stock stuff collecting dust, hell if you needed to borrow a stock turbo, downpipe, or intercooler I gotcha.*

2. I haven't had a raise or promotion in 2 years, due to the economy and it's painful, money has never been so tight with me before.
3. I have no future career opportunities at work (I was passed over for promotion). I have nowhere left to go except out. *Do whatever you can to find another job(s) to cover your budget and then get the hell outta there. They cant be mad at you for leaving/being disloyal if they wont reward your existing service*

4. My house has been broken into, and parts and pieces of my car have been stolen and outdoor furniture etc., taken from my house too. *If you can store stuff in an attic or a locked spare room, do it. Otherwise toss out the stuff you don't need and batten down the hatches, its hard living these days when you neighborhood turns into tha hood.*

5. My roof leaked after the last big Rain we had a few weeks ago. *Sucks, find the leak and patch it before the next storm. If its just a small hole its a $20 fix*

6. I have a straight "F" son, who can't read or do math or even speak well.*Is it from lack of effort on his part, parental guidance, or is there a diagnosed mental disability?*

7. I've lost crazy money (more than $300K) in the stock market and my 401K...all of which totals to less than $100K today, maybe that means I don't have to worry about it anymore? *Yes but you didnt have it happen when you are 60 years old,retired, and living off your investements. You still have time to rebuild and refund the 401k.*

8. I drive a 2003 wagon.*Yeah, but its a Subaru. I know a girl that is itching to buy one*

Main thing is to be thankful for what you have, A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE WORSE OFF. Make a set of goals and execute the plan next year.

stupidchicken03

iTrader: (38)

ya we are doing it in another state... Hawaii so still not too cheap

AntiochCali

iTrader: (1)

My son was late learning English, he had constant ear infections and didn't learn English (he couldn't hear correctly so spoke his own language)...so he has isolated himself, now he wants to fight everytime he needs to study, it's very frustrating. I used to have things I could do to motivate him, but they are less and less effective as time goes by. He's 10 years old.

I've restarted my alarm service - replaced the broken door, not much else I can think of.

The leak in my roof turned out to be a window (says the contractor), not the roof.

Still angry about the promotion, now I'm stuck forever at my current level unless I can move departments, which of course I can't because my old boss won't let me leave...need a new company.

I probably make okay money, but it's kind of painful not getting raises and having really poor bonuses...and getting passed by for all future promotions.

I really need a raise, sigh.

Thanks all for the replies....good luck on the weddings.

ruehl

iTrader: (19)

When i was young i my ear canals were too small and i had lots of ear infections just like your son, About one every 2 months at least. I also did not speak until i was four and have always had a speech impediment but it has gotten better over time. When i was your sons age it was very difficult to understand me but now its only certian sounds i have occasionally have problems with. What you can do is try to do is make it so if he doesn't do well he doesn't do anything he enjoys at all and talk to his teachers all you can since he might be the only being isolated by the other kids. Since i know he probably gets made fun of because of his speech like i did. Since he is ten its not the end of his education since HS is what counts but you just have to make sure they don't "track" him.

The job sucks and there is not much you can do about it. I haven't had a raise in 2.5 years and i do all the work of the other 5 managers. My DM also refuses to speak to me about anything.

AntiochCali

iTrader: (1)

Wow, thanks for that, yeah, he had about 1 ear infection every other week, he'd get over it, so no ear tubes, then get another the following week...very frustrating, didn't realize he couldn't really speak until he started pre-school.

lanz0r

iTrader: (14)

1. My car is bad luck
2. My rear diff blew within a week having my new RS
3. My transmission blew 2 nights ago
4. My car is bad luck

(and fyi I never beat my car to ****, I just drove it 30 miles daily to work in Morgan Hill and back.)

1reguL8NSTi

3 words.......... improvised explosive device. They stress me out. Yay, Iraq.