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Just caught grandpa beating off in the living room

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Old 03-14-2010, 10:01 PM
  #76  
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(505):

He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
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Old 03-14-2010, 10:08 PM
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LOLOLOLOLOL

(541):

So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
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Old 03-14-2010, 10:51 PM
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Originally Posted by fizay
LOLOLOLOLOL

(541):

So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
That is, by far, the best one I've read so far.
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Old 03-14-2010, 11:19 PM
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She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were f***ing.

i LOL'd pretty good
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Old 03-14-2010, 11:52 PM
  #80  
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Hahahahaha!
(865):

Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
(203):

Is it bad that i stopped wanting to **** her as soon as i noticed she had dry skin?
(1-203):

I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
(780):

Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the hindu version of a bar mitzvah.
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Old 03-15-2010, 12:44 AM
  #81  
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Originally Posted by rau
Hahahahaha!
Ok, second one just happened to me over this weekend,
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Old 03-15-2010, 07:20 AM
  #82  
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Originally Posted by Krinkov
Ok, second one just happened to me over this weekend,
so what was lizard **** like?
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Old 03-15-2010, 12:42 PM
  #83  
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Originally Posted by rau
so what was lizard **** like?
haha, no. Buddy of ours made a "elbows-too-pointy" kind of comment about a cute girl at the bar that made us call into question his sexual orientation.
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Old 03-15-2010, 12:49 PM
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lol I also have a friend that can't stand pointy elbows on chicks... when he made that comment, we were all wtf?
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Old 03-15-2010, 01:44 PM
  #85  
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Originally Posted by LGT Mark
lol I also have a friend that can't stand pointy elbows on chicks... when he made that comment, we were all wtf?
"you need to give me a reason right now why he is your friend"
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Old 05-13-2010, 12:08 PM
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I'm gonna miss college real soon

(617):We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect *****. Needless to say we get along well.
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Old 05-24-2010, 09:16 PM
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I keep forgetting ***** have mothers too. OF COURSE it came from San Diego.

(619):

my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
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Old 05-25-2010, 10:43 AM
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(703): I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
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Old 05-25-2010, 01:28 PM
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(717): just weighed my ***** on my pocket scale. that high.
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