That site is EPIC...

Only in Santa Cruz
(831): There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.






yeah like everyone hasn't tried this????
(510): I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...

 

haha werd, they NEVER buy that one

 

Oh man, I love looking up the locals

Meh, I was still recovering from the night before, and didn't really expect any kind of beneficial commentary from you anyways, so I assumed sarcasm.

And Jeremy... really? Kool-aid and Scotch? Really?

 

OH YEAH!!!!

 

just in time for the holidays...


(607): : am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?

 

(312): the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.

 

(713):

I want to **** you on the side of the bed tonight.

(512):

babe, don't say it like that!

(713):

I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.

 

(613):

i was so drunk i stopped mid-******* to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.

 

(323):

Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.

 

(555):

Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, **** style.

 

(917):

I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina

 

(201):

i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.

 

(678):

My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the **** is wrong with my family?

 

omg I think I love this site.

 

(678):

Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids