Just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
07-31-2009, 11:13 AM
#19
plays well with others
iTrader: (1)
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Sac
Posts: 9,923
Car Info: your mother crazy
(443): So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull **** his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
07-31-2009, 11:23 AM
#20
plays well with others
iTrader: (1)
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Sac
Posts: 9,923
Car Info: your mother crazy
(970): I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
(303): Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
(303): Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
07-31-2009, 01:17 PM
#24
Registered User
iTrader: (3)
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Napa, CA
Posts: 487
Car Info: DGM 2011 WRX
(905): Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
(1-905): With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
(1-905): With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
07-31-2009, 01:23 PM
#25
VIP Member
iTrader: (17)
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Sunnyvale, CA
Posts: 22,776
Car Info: '13 BRZ Limited / '02 WRX
07-31-2009, 01:24 PM
#26
VIP Member
iTrader: (17)
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Sunnyvale, CA
Posts: 22,776
Car Info: '13 BRZ Limited / '02 WRX
(408): When I'm drunk i like to pretend my ***** is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
08-01-2009, 09:38 AM
#28
Some ****ing gems!
(650): you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
(1-650): noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
(1-650): noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
(650): I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
(650): I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
(614): Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
(1-614): I had better be ****ing involved with step four.
(1-614): I had better be ****ing involved with step four.
(215): I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
(267): I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
(267): I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
(502): i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
(404): "tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
