i'm bored, so here's some jokes :p
10-02-2003, 01:06 PM
#1
Registered User
Thread Starter
iTrader: (4)
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: HK / BAIC (still in denial)
Posts: 3,549
Car Info: '08 GT3/'08 Cayenne Turbo/'02 WRX Sedan/'95 E36 M3
i'm bored, so here's some jokes :p
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong"
-------------
sorry if any of these offend...
Juan on Juan.
Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong"
-------------
sorry if any of these offend...
10-02-2003, 01:18 PM
#3
The weal amewican hewo!
iTrader: (9)
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Hayward, BAIC
Posts: 2,434
Car Info: 02 Aspen White sedan
I like the one about why there isnt a Disneyland in China??
I'm Chinese but that is so freakin funny....its true though too, how many Chinese do you see taller then 5'5"??
I'd think it apply more to a Six Flags though, although i am not sure we can reach the wheel in the middle for the teacups either hahahaha
I'm Chinese but that is so freakin funny....its true though too, how many Chinese do you see taller then 5'5"??
I'd think it apply more to a Six Flags though, although i am not sure we can reach the wheel in the middle for the teacups either hahahaha
10-02-2003, 01:24 PM
#5
Registered User
Thread Starter
iTrader: (4)
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: HK / BAIC (still in denial)
Posts: 3,549
Car Info: '08 GT3/'08 Cayenne Turbo/'02 WRX Sedan/'95 E36 M3
Originally posted by DanyoCantDrift
I like the one about why there isnt a Disneyland in China??
I'm Chinese but that is so freakin funny....its true though too, how many Chinese do you see taller then 5'5"??
I'd think it apply more to a Six Flags though, although i am not sure we can reach the wheel in the middle for the teacups either hahahaha
I like the one about why there isnt a Disneyland in China??
I'm Chinese but that is so freakin funny....its true though too, how many Chinese do you see taller then 5'5"??
I'd think it apply more to a Six Flags though, although i am not sure we can reach the wheel in the middle for the teacups either hahahaha
10-02-2003, 01:28 PM
#8
Registered User
Thread Starter
iTrader: (4)
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: HK / BAIC (still in denial)
Posts: 3,549
Car Info: '08 GT3/'08 Cayenne Turbo/'02 WRX Sedan/'95 E36 M3
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being dis-charged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself right after you saved him with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Edna replied "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being dis-charged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself right after you saved him with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Edna replied "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"
10-02-2003, 01:35 PM
#9
Registered User
iTrader: (12)
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Palo Alto
Posts: 3,150
Car Info: GT35R, Meth
Originally posted by DanyoCantDrift
I like the one about why there isnt a Disneyland in China??
I'm Chinese but that is so freakin funny....its true though too, how many Chinese do you see taller then 5'5"??
hahahaha
I like the one about why there isnt a Disneyland in China??
I'm Chinese but that is so freakin funny....its true though too, how many Chinese do you see taller then 5'5"??
hahahaha
I'm 5' 11''
But babysmurf what are you like 5 feet tall? I forgot but I remember you take up like half of the smallest Recaro seat!
10-02-2003, 01:39 PM
#10
The weal amewican hewo!
iTrader: (9)
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Hayward, BAIC
Posts: 2,434
Car Info: 02 Aspen White sedan
OMG lol
I'm 5'7" too lol, ABC's arent your typical Chinese in height lol...and Yao Ming yeah he is an extreme exception....
here is one..I'm bored at work too :
"While driving home, my 18yr old son was complaining of of occasional sharp pains in his *****. As I discussed the importance of self-exams, I explained that he should be checking for abnormal lumps in order to rule out cancer. Unaware that my 9-year old had been listening to our conversation, I heard a terrified yell from the back seat, "Mom i have cancer, I have two lumps, the size of marbles, next to my *****!"
I'm 5'7" too lol, ABC's arent your typical Chinese in height lol...and Yao Ming yeah he is an extreme exception....
here is one..I'm bored at work too :
"While driving home, my 18yr old son was complaining of of occasional sharp pains in his *****. As I discussed the importance of self-exams, I explained that he should be checking for abnormal lumps in order to rule out cancer. Unaware that my 9-year old had been listening to our conversation, I heard a terrified yell from the back seat, "Mom i have cancer, I have two lumps, the size of marbles, next to my *****!"
10-02-2003, 02:47 PM
#12
VIP Member
iTrader: (3)
Join Date: May 2003
Location: SBAIC-South BayArea Impreza Club-Campbell, CA-Thur
Posts: 3,648
Car Info: 2003 PSM STi
good, better, best
GOOD
A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting
many. Then he discovered the problem - a 12-year-old boy was standing up the
road with a hand painted sign, which read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD". The officer
then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading "TIPS" and a
bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)
BETTER
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated
radar post. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the
police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed
photo of handcuffs.
BEST
A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the motorcycle Officer walked
to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you are
going to sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolmen's Ball. "He replied,
"Highway Patrolmen don't have *****." There was a moment of silence while
she smiled, and he realized what he'd just said. He then closed his book,
got back on his motorcycle and left. She was laughing too hard to start her
car.
-Ted
A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting
many. Then he discovered the problem - a 12-year-old boy was standing up the
road with a hand painted sign, which read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD". The officer
then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading "TIPS" and a
bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)
BETTER
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated
radar post. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the
police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed
photo of handcuffs.
BEST
A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the motorcycle Officer walked
to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you are
going to sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolmen's Ball. "He replied,
"Highway Patrolmen don't have *****." There was a moment of silence while
she smiled, and he realized what he'd just said. He then closed his book,
got back on his motorcycle and left. She was laughing too hard to start her
car.
-Ted
10-02-2003, 03:28 PM
#15
Registered User
Thread Starter
iTrader: (4)
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: HK / BAIC (still in denial)
Posts: 3,549
Car Info: '08 GT3/'08 Cayenne Turbo/'02 WRX Sedan/'95 E36 M3
Originally posted by verc
I'm 5' 11''
But babysmurf what are you like 5 feet tall? I forgot but I remember you take up like half of the smallest Recaro seat!
I'm 5' 11''
But babysmurf what are you like 5 feet tall? I forgot but I remember you take up like half of the smallest Recaro seat!
