did anyone elses parents get a divorce?
12-11-2007, 10:03 PM
#31
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I too am older and have been through divorce, though mine was a relatively amicable experience. Also we never had children because he has a hereditary bone deformity which we did not want to pass on. Admittedly this made the divorce process easier. My ex-husband and I were together for about 10 years and eventually we just drifted apart.
When we came to the decision that it was time to separate, we phoned our friends and told them that if they took sides we would not talk to them! After the separation we both started volunteering and discovering new hobbies and realised that we had been smothering each other. Getting divorced was the best thing for us. He has since remarried. I may have lost a husband, but I am lucky in that I have gained two really good friends.
wrXtian, all I can say is people get married for many different reasons, they also separate and get divorced for many different reasons. Your Parents' divorce is not your fault. Best of luck.
When we came to the decision that it was time to separate, we phoned our friends and told them that if they took sides we would not talk to them! After the separation we both started volunteering and discovering new hobbies and realised that we had been smothering each other. Getting divorced was the best thing for us. He has since remarried. I may have lost a husband, but I am lucky in that I have gained two really good friends.
wrXtian, all I can say is people get married for many different reasons, they also separate and get divorced for many different reasons. Your Parents' divorce is not your fault. Best of luck.
12-12-2007, 01:32 PM
#32
sorry to hear about that, my parents are still together so i can't really put my self in your shoes. but i have cousins and friend's parent who were divorced. most of them turn out to be fine, but it was a little harsh on my little cousin. stay with friends and stay close with both parents i think is the way.
im really sorry to hear this sigma. at least your dad knows that you have forgived him, he can RIP happily. and im sure your dad wouldn't blame you even you didn't forgive him, parents are more understanding than that.
im really sorry to hear this sigma. at least your dad knows that you have forgived him, he can RIP happily. and im sure your dad wouldn't blame you even you didn't forgive him, parents are more understanding than that.
12-12-2007, 02:16 PM
#34
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Thanks! Really appreciated
Personaly I don't believe in counseling. Someone you pay to listen to your troubles, that will tell you what you probably already know deep down.
The age was a bit off..I got married around 27..I'm 42 now.
I know it can be traumatic, at the same time learning from a broken couple will take the same toll. My personal experience.
You end up learning that a "broken" relationship is THE relationship...the kids learn by example, also from bad example.
But IMHO a less than perfect family is still better than no family at all... Plus I can't live without my kids.
Still working on it...I didn't give up just yet...but the temptation is strong.
Personaly I don't believe in counseling. Someone you pay to listen to your troubles, that will tell you what you probably already know deep down.
The age was a bit off..I got married around 27..I'm 42 now.
I know it can be traumatic, at the same time learning from a broken couple will take the same toll. My personal experience.
You end up learning that a "broken" relationship is THE relationship...the kids learn by example, also from bad example.
But IMHO a less than perfect family is still better than no family at all... Plus I can't live without my kids.
Still working on it...I didn't give up just yet...but the temptation is strong.
Talk it out, put yourselves in each others shoes and negotiate. Try to start fresh, clean, with a commitment to your kids, more than likely you'll find new commitment to each other.
Again, usually its ego and selfishness (on both ends) that ruins relationships.
12-12-2007, 03:00 PM
#35
Communication and a lot of humility is needed to keep relationships strong. Letting egos get the better of one another is disaster, not so much for the couple, but for the kids really.
Talk it out, put yourselves in each others shoes and negotiate. Try to start fresh, clean, with a commitment to your kids, more than likely you'll find new commitment to each other.
Again, usually its ego and selfishness (on both ends) that ruins relationships.
Talk it out, put yourselves in each others shoes and negotiate. Try to start fresh, clean, with a commitment to your kids, more than likely you'll find new commitment to each other.
Again, usually its ego and selfishness (on both ends) that ruins relationships.
12-12-2007, 03:08 PM
#36
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In the same boat as you OP.. Mom just received the letter from his lawyer this morning. It's been really rocky for my folks this past year, and I sorta knew it would come to this sooner or later. It's really hard to figure out who you should be mad at, and quite frankly... I can't say that I can be mad at anyone. Things just work out this way sometimes, and you just have to roll with the punches. Keep your chin up OP, days will get better sooner or later.
Cheers
Cheers
12-12-2007, 03:28 PM
#37
Good luck to you!! My parents didnt get a divorce but maybe if they did they would be here today who knows.. They both committed suicide. If they had gotten divorced i would have been happier cus then more family. Having no family now except pretty much my husbands family gets kind of hard at times.
12-12-2007, 03:30 PM
#38
Good luck to you!! My parents didnt get a divorce but maybe if they did they would be here today who knows.. They both committed suicide. If they had gotten divorced i would have been happier cus then more family. Having no family now except pretty much my husbands family gets kind of hard at times.
thats a bummer
sorry for ya
12-12-2007, 03:53 PM
#41
I am sorry :/ Yeah it gets that way. I see big happy families and makes ya miss it. Then there are the families that fight and i just say to them you may be mad now but when they are gone you cant go back. Give extra love cus you never know when someone leaves this world.
12-12-2007, 04:33 PM
#42
i havent moved out because i know you can lose them and the good food haha
but yeah the anti fathers day part with me and two friends that lost thier fathers
12-12-2007, 08:13 PM
#45
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well you said one of your hobbies is drinking in the other thread, so don't let alcohol bring you down...its a life long disease.
I'm sure you have a friends family you are close to. Friends families are better than your own relatives in some cases.
my mom raised me until i was 2 then my "dad" came along and have been happy since, my original dad is a mortitian...scary...like that 6 feet under show. He sent me a letter...when i turned 18 lol go figure. He's also bald, which is scary too.
I'm sure you have a friends family you are close to. Friends families are better than your own relatives in some cases.
my mom raised me until i was 2 then my "dad" came along and have been happy since, my original dad is a mortitian...scary...like that 6 feet under show. He sent me a letter...when i turned 18 lol go figure. He's also bald, which is scary too.